lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
