is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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