I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
dude. I can hear the air.
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