so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize