no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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