forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
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It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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