He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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