He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize