oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i now understand why vodka
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