i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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