so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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