He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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