I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
