Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
