At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
