i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
