So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
