so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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