and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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