So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
