it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
