Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
