Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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