Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize