We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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