Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
