so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
