Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
