I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
