Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
