She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
