it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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