I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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