btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You dont lie about slip and slides
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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