How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
