Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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