Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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