Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So vagazzling was a success
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
