fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
