I met the friendliest cop last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
