I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
