I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
