"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
