he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
