i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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