im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
