so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize