I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
