she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
