If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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