you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
