I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
