what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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