So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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