You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
